March 10, 2008

Existential that, bub

I used to get lonely. Now I think living in a mountain farmhouse would be an ideal existence a lot of the time. Am I a living cautionary tale?
So I am supposed to be an art teacher. That's the backup career. But I am really supposed to be an artist and writer. However, I subscribe to the philosophy that more stuff and a well-paying career won't really raise happiness levels, so I concentrate on being happy as a ESL face.

I have been thinking recently that I surf too much when I should be drawing, writing or studying. Doing something to exercise my talents. Entertaining 14 year olds on youtube doesn't count.

My jaw is clenching even more than the other day. Still wondering if it is stress, or worrying about the future that is doing that to me. Could be unregisterd loneliness stress Today I'll probably apply to a language school...

6 comments:

  1. a cheap one that James recommended. I figure I need some kind of ~kyu qualification before I can get a job in Japan, so education visa it is.

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  2. Hi. I found your blog from the japan probe and I've been enjoying reading it.

    You live in Saga. I used to work in Tosu and have been to Takeo before. Where is Taracho??

    Anyway, nice to meet you.

    I'm also furiously studying Japanese.
    yoroshiku : )

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  3. Ok, so I don't know if other people or you get this, but I get really anxious when I haven't talked to someone in a few hours. Like really anxious. I figured out that the way to stop this is to keep constantly busy, then I can enjoy being alone much more. The problem is if I sleep too far into the day I call it a failure and don't do anything for the day, which also makes me really anxious because I get down on myself for lack of productivity. So I solved this problem in a weird way by making a schedule of things (categories) I should be doing through the day on a polyphasic sleep schedule. So I basically don't sleep and it ironically makes me no longer bored. Or anxious. Uh yeah, so there's my weird related comment.

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  4. Polyphasic? Have you been talking to Jon F?

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