September 23, 2005

This needs to be addressed

The man who would be queen
I hadn't planned to post on this blog this week, but I just got a rather disturbing email. The contents go as follows:
Clay,
Hi, I heard a rumor and I've been thinking about what I want to do about it for quite some time now. My first thought is just to ignore it as a rumor but I'm not good at ignoring things so here I am writing an email. I don't know how to set it up nicely so I'll just say it, some mutual friends of ours told me that they found out you are gay. When they told me this information they seemed completely serious as though it wasn't a joke or anything, like they really believed their source for the information. They told me that some guy from the Cheyenne gay community claims to be a former partner of yours. I haven't spoken to this guy directly so I can't verify who it is or what they're supposedly saying or if there even is a guy...

And it goes on about how it's cool if I am gay and all that stuff a friend is supposed to tell you when he wonders.
Well, let this entry be the ultimate authority on the issue: I am NOT gay. In fact, I'm really suprised to hear people even could fathom me being gay. Anyone that knows me knows I was in love with a certain girl (not hard to tell who) for the good part of the last 4 years.
To put it in simple terms, boobies: Yes, please! Man meat: No thanks!

Oddly enough I find myself not mad about this whole thing. I don't even bear ill will against the rumor spreaders or their supposed sources. But I want to set the record straight, in more ways than one.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go listen to Barbra Streisand and paint my toenails.

11 comments:

  1. I thought you were "bi curious" at most...;)

    In all seriousness, don't sweat it. For most of my life, people have been making that assumption about me - even before the kilt. In fact, I think the kilt may have actually reduced it a bit; the outright verbal slurs may have increased, but the behind-my-back mumbling seems to be decreasing (having a lot of female lovers has helped put a stop to it too...).

    As for the source of the rumors, there is likely a good explanation. Perhaps there is another guy named Clay in Cheyenne who is gay. Of course, it is possible that something more nefarious is at work - character assassination can be particularly savage in religious cirlces - but you will have to plumb those depths yourself...

    Or you could just forget it - who cares anyway?

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  2. Well thank goodness! I told some of my girlfriends about you and I'd hate to be a liar :-)

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  3. hey clay,

    now being gay is totally fine, but i want to go on public record and say that i have never considered even the remotest possibility that you might be gay.

    nope, nada, never

    but if you had been,you'd have been one of the coolest gay guys that i know!

    *smile*

    sorry that you have to deal with angst from hmmmm...well-meaning friends?

    i send love!!

    ~ kim

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  4. Hmmmmm, nope my 'gaydar' never kicked in. Great sense of humor, yes. Ability to make fun of yourself, yep. Gay, nope. (They couldn't possibly be referring to your comic when you grew breasts???)
    Love You!

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  5. Yo, pimp daddy, it has to be great to drive a car that's not held together by bondo and duct tape! That is one nice car

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  6. thanks for the comment, but its on the wrong blog!

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  7. Wow. Well, there was no doubt in my mind that you are completely straight. But dang, you do look good. :-P

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  8. *laughs* Wow, that's funny. Although it would explain why I had no luck when I hit on you... :P No, no...never could I really see you being gay. Metrosexual? Oh yeah, but not gay.

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  9. This person must not be that close to you to assume that the rumor is true. I mean, come on. I have never met you and I know you're not gay. Anyone that can write "my Japanese girlfriend" is not a homo. (Not that there's anything wrong with that...) :)

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  10. Yeah, same thing happened to me. I heard it verified from a friend of mine who made an acuaintance on a street corner with someone who had passed through Wyoming about seven years back who stopped in at a diner in Lander and chatted up a waitress who had a cousin who lived in Cheyenne who had heard tell in a certain seedy bar that one of the patrons who frequented that bar claimed to have been on a trip to St. Paul to visit his aunt when his car broke down and he was offered a ride by a guy who made advances towards him who said his name was Kit Carson.

    But that time, I was just joking. :)

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